Nigel's notes

Random thoughts on the world of kink

But how do I explain it to the kids?

communitypride / August 15, 2017 /

An argument (sadly a recurrent one) about fetish at Pride marches has just been published on Gay Star News. It has an argument against, and an argument for, and I wrote the section explaining why we should be allowed to take part in Pride marches. (Yes, it’s 2017, we’re still having that argument).

You can read both parts here.

One of the reasons often cited for not allowing the perverts at Pride is that it should be “family friendly.”  I have two issues with that.

First, this is our time. And frankly I’m getting a bit sick of being told that everything – whether it’s the censorship of my broadband connection, what can be shown on TV, or what I can wear at Pride – has to be rendered suitable and safe for your children, whom I will probably never meet, and certainly wouldn’t like if I did.

Secondly, how hard is this? If you’re wondering “How do I explain that to the kids,” then why are you taking them to Pride in the first place? I guess you’ve already had the talk, explaining about people being gay, because if you’ve not even done that, you should certainly be staying away until you have.

So, I’m guessing you already did, and it went something like “You know how mummy and daddy are in love? Well, sometimes two men can be in love too, like Uncle John and his friend Sam.” And, most likely, your kids took it completely in their stride, and said “OK” or “Cool” or something like that. Congratulations – they’re completely unfazed. It is the 21st century, after all.

Here’s a completely free parenting tip for you: you don’t have to tell me that I can’t turn up at Pride wearing what I want, “because of the children.” You just have to do some parenting again. You’ve done it once already, when you explained about The Gays,  so it shouldn’t be too hard. Try this, or something like it:

“Sometimes, when Mummy wants to make Daddy happy, she wears a special dress, and we go and have a cuddle. And sometimes when two boys want to make each other happy, one of them puts on some special clothes too, like a puppy, or clothes made out of leather, and that makes them both happy, so they can have a cuddle too.”

And when you’ve done that, come along and enjoy Pride.