Nigel's notes

Random thoughts on the world of kink

On Pride and Just Stop Oil

Uncategorized / June 30, 2023

A couple of days before the Pride in London Parade, campaigning group Just Stop Oil issued a statement; or perhaps some might call it an ultimatum. The statement was dated 4pm on the 28th of June, and said they would wait 24 hours for a response, with a vague threat of possible action at the weekend’s events, if there was not clarity the three points raised. This has, not surprisingly, somewhat set the cat amongst the pigeons. There are those who view climate as the biggest emergency facing us right now. There are those who think that attacks on trans people are a more pressing issue. There are those who …..

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On language, and the burden of moderation

Uncategorized / April 16, 2023

Everyone knows some language can be problematic. Everyone thinks they should have freedom of speech. Most people also think there should be some authority to call upon when the two clash. And that means that the ‘authority’ that is called upon should have processes, and guidelines, to try and navigate through a pretty complex field. Often, perhaps, they overestimate the robustness of those, and end up disappointed. So, in this post, I’m setting out where I stand on content moderation, in particular with regard to BLUF. First, what do our rules say? Our main rule regarding content is this: “You must not use the site or other BLUF online …..

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Backstreet Q&A

Uncategorized / May 31, 2022

Since the closure of The Backstreet was announced, I’ve been asked questions by many, many people, and I decided to put as much information as I can somewhere I can refer people to. This is not on the BLUF blog, because I am writing this in a strictly personal capacity. I should stress that I do not speak for The Backstreet, and I can’t comment directly on their financial situation, as I don’t know it; even if I could, it would probably be inappropriate for me to do so without their express permission. Why is it closing? The bar is closing because the lease is expiring, and will not be …..

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On titles

Uncategorized / February 8, 2020

Note 1: this is based on a draft I originally wrote in 2016. I have edited it lightly, and changed the title from the original “Toxic titles.” I didn’t publish it at the time, because I felt that certain things were still too raw in the UK leather community, but three and a half years later, I think it’s worth airing. Note 2: this is strictly a personal view. As an organisation, BLUF isn’t going to get involved in running or organising title contests, but we’re always happy to work with titleholders to get their messages out, including publicising events or groups for them. Leather titles have been with us …..

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California Taliban – Double standards in Apple’s App Store

BLUFfetish sitestechnology / May 6, 2019

We are, as many others have commented, slowly walking into a future where what we can see, read, or do online is controlled by a relatively small number of companies, like Twitter, Facebook, Apple and Google. Governments, fearful of being seen to censor directly, bring pressure on Silicon Valley companies to “protect users” or “clean up” discussions. And so Twitter bans some people, Tumblr becomes less pornographic, and so on. To an extent, this is the right of those companies – they operate the platforms, they’re businesses, and they can do what they want. But as they do so, the ramifications spread far and wide.  Nebulous “community standards” somehow allow …..

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But how do I explain it to the kids?

communitypride / August 15, 2017

An argument (sadly a recurrent one) about fetish at Pride marches has just been published on Gay Star News. It has an argument against, and an argument for, and I wrote the section explaining why we should be allowed to take part in Pride marches. (Yes, it’s 2017, we’re still having that argument). You can read both parts here. One of the reasons often cited for not allowing the perverts at Pride is that it should be “family friendly.”  I have two issues with that. First, this is our time. And frankly I’m getting a bit sick of being told that everything – whether it’s the censorship of my broadband …..

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Lights! Sound! Sensory deprivation

technology / April 21, 2017

Sensory deprivation is something quite a few people like playing with. It can be as simple as just some ear plugs, or ear defenders, and a blindfold or hood. But you can do much more than that too, of course. Over the years, I’ve played with a few interesting gadgets that can enhance the experience, and I thought I’d round up a few of them here, in case other people fancy trying them out. I’m focusing here largely on high-tech solutions. Please note: some things here come with health warnings; always read the instructions, and don’t ever use gear like this on someone without discussing it first. Not only might …..

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More notes on a scam

scams / September 29, 2016

It’s no great surprise that, once again, I received a message on Recon from someone saying they were looking for a sub, and telling me to email them. This time, Recon were pretty quick – by the time I saw the message, the profile had already been deleted. Nevertheless, I decided to follow up on my previous adventures in working out a scam, and see if this one was the same. Surprise, surprise, things went in much the same way – though “Benjamin Porter” wasn’t forthcoming with any info, even though I mentioned in my very first message that I couldn’t see his profile on Recon. First off, a reminder …..

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Notes for kinksters on the Yahoo password hack

fetish sites / September 23, 2016

Yesterday the news broke of a massive hack of Yahoo data, which took place in 2014, but has only been revealed now. There have been several similar high-profile hacks lately, and so I thought it worth taking a look at this topic, in particular from the point of view of kinksters – though the notes here really apply equally to anyone who values their privacy and that of others. I’ll try to explain simply what’s happened, what you should do about it, and what steps to take in future, too. What’s happened? According to Yahoo, some details of up to 500 million accounts are believed to have been obtained by …..

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